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[09 Jan 2005|12:14pm] |
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mood |
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 jihadist |
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music |
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Rage Against the Machine |
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Michael Pizer.
I am going to murder you and burn your fucking cow farm of a house.
Love,
Turk.
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[08 Jan 2005|12:05pm] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
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What an unfashionable distate for humanity. He is, I think, better suited to dying in a corner than living among you overly-happy bastards.
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[08 Jan 2005|01:25am] |
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mood |
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 mellow |
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music |
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Beatles - Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds |
] |
If you don't mind, I think I might take over and steer for a while.
...Bostonology. I think it's a lovely title.
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[06 Jan 2005|10:14pm] |
yes i know its ugly...ill pretty it up when I have the time. I think I actually know what I want to do now. Maybe...? Maybe...? ::shrug::
In other news, G-Man got owned on the AP Chem Exam. : P
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| 3 months... |
[09 Nov 2004|11:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Modest Mouse |
] |
I feel like I need to say something, but I don't have the head to say it anymore. I feel like I'm less of a person than who I used to be, and cant put anything into words that used to come so easily. Maybe in a few days.
In other news, Tycho Brahe is officially my hero. I wish I was that good... :/
Ahhh...whatever. What happens happens. Courtesy of Vrol while I reshuffle my head.
LAST PERSON WHO
1. Slept in your bed: Me
2. Saw you cry: I dunno...mom?
3. Made you cry: Heh...
4. Spent the night with: Been ages. Beats the hell out of me.
5. You shared a drink with: I drink alone...
6. You went to the movies with: My guys in 54 in Boston.
7. You went to the mall with: Prudential with Ginni and my room mates
8. Yelled at you: My parents. Curse words you don't even know the meaning of.
9. Sent you an email: Irene
10. You kissed: sha la la la la la la.... :)
HAVE YOU EVER
1. Said "I Love You" and meant it: yes...but never enough.
2. Gotten in a fight with your pet: Im Asian. I own koi. The worst I can do to them is pour salt into their pond.
3. Been to New York: Yes
4. Florida: I .hate. Florida...
5. California: Yes
6. Hawaii: Yes
7. Mexico: No
8. China: Reprezent.
9. Canada: Vancouver. ::shrug:: close nuff.
10. Danced naked: of course.
11. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: Thank god no. The nakedness of it all. O_o
12. Wish you were the opposite sex: Maybe in some stuff...cuz I'm that damn lazy. I'd be a crappy chick though.
13. Had an imaginary friend: Of course.
14. Things you like in a guy/girl: Some things just happen to you when you wake up.
16. Six Wives: Brigham Young. W00t W00t....nah. Mormonism is more of Sam's thing.
1. Worst feeling in the world: loneliness.
2. What is the first thing you think when you wake up: shit. It's early/I'm late/Where's my pants.
3. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Nah...I should though. Sleeping alone in a crime.
4. What's under your bed: A wad of cash that somehow worked its way there.
5. Favorite sport to watch: Football...Halo. :O
6. Location: I don't even want to talk about it.
7. Piercings/tattoos: I want my ears pierced, some kanji on my back, and maybe a pac-man line around my hands.
8. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: I dunno Jon. Are we? :P
EXTRA STUFF
1. Do you do drugs: no
2. Do you drink: :blink:
4. What are you most scared of: being unloved.
5. What clothes do you sleep in: boxers...maybe pants if I fall asleep too early. Pants are essential.
6. Where do you want to get married: on a cliff...a cathedral would do if she hated cliffs.
7. Who do you really hate: ironically...assholes.
8. Been in Love: Like she's the only person in the world.
9. Do you have a job: nah.
10. Do you like being around people: sometimes. If they're the right people.
UFF
1. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: eh...nah. Dun think so.
3. Are you lonely right now? yeah. Not so bad as it used to be though.
4. Ever afraid you'll never get married: Only Valve and Bungie can save me from Loneliness. Square has failed me too many times.
5. Do you want to get married: If she was right...if I could make her happy. Then why not?
6. Do you want kids: maybe. If I could teach them how to play video games.
ONE FAVORITE
1. Room in house: My room naturally. Could use some stuff though.
2. Type(s) of music: God Damn Country Music. Everything else is fine but damn the country music.
3. Color: white/black/blue
4. Month: August
5. Stone: Onyx
IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU
1. Cried: no
2. Bought something: Don't rub it in.
3. Gotten sick: yeah. starting to hurt again.
4. Sang: Black Cadillacs
5. Said "I Love You": yes...
6. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yeah. she doesn't pick up her phone though. ;P
7. Met someone new: Um...I dunno. Dun really care too much.
8. Moved on: I'm so sick of moving on.
9. Talked to someone: yes
10. Fought with your parents: Im bloody asian. Nuff said.
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| More.... |
[19 Aug 2004|10:59pm] |
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More tomorrow...But now I work....
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| Olé...Olé-Olé-Olé...Olé.......Olé... |
[19 Aug 2004|09:59pm] |
It's been so long since I've dragged everything out of my head and tossed them onto my screen. But now I guess I kinda feel its necessary, even though I make fun of so many people using Livejournal. So here goes...the longest LJ post of all time.
Harvard. Canaday C...Honestly I didn't want to go at first. The idea of leaving my previous summer school was revolting to me. I had had a good time there, and I didn't want things to change. But I ended up being sent to Harvard, which I somewhat reconciled myself with a few weeks before I left.
And my God how things were... Even from the first moment I loved everyone of you, even though we spent so much time on the fifth floor in the beginning. It was like being surrounded by the greatest family every waking moment and I loved it. You guys were so easy to talk to, so fun to be around, I just forgot all the problems I had.
Spending all my time on video games and anime with the fifth...those were good times. Partying all day, just enjoying life, I found it hard to believe it could have gotten much better. But then when we were watching anime together, this girl comes up halfway through the movie. She had this smile. And the look. And I still remember what shes wearing when she leans against the wall, grinning but at the same time thinking every last one of us are absolute crackheads.
..And I'm sure she dropped by earlier too, but this is the one time that sticks in my head. And of all things in hell she asks us if we want to jog. And I gave up the anime on the spot to do, of all aforementioned things in hell, jogging.
Other things happened. Lily stopped hating me. Andrea (Andy/Roster) moved in. I found new friends. I found new beds. The weeks were creeping by, but I didn't care. It was good to wake up in the morning. Our little family was growing (mostly through HALO). Andy and Vrolyk (Half-Naked) especially spent alot of time with us. But every now and then that same girl who went jogging with us would pop upstairs and just stand outside our doorway, refusing to come in before leaving after sitting around for a minute or so. Thinking back, she never did come in to play much.
By the 5th week I was sleeping maybe 4-5 hours a day at best, staying up in other people's rooms, just talking about whatever came up. Over time, I usually found myself talking in Irene's room, or sleeping in Simrat's. Simrat used to hear all my problems- put up with me sleeping in her bed at odd hours too. I still don't know why she never kicked me out.
I had my birthday. We had fun like hell. Ran up a huge tab. My buds ran up a very very very long escalator. Not everyone was there, but enough of the family was. And looking back, it wasn't any thing that we did that made the night fun, but rather the fact that I was together with my friends, and we all were determined to party for a night. We stole bamboo poles. It was 1337.
It was around that weekend that I found myself looking for Irene more and more. I would always drop by her room, and she would almost never be there. But when she was, we talked, and I guess we became somewhat closer.
I remember the one night too. When everyone in my room was watching Blazing Saddles, so I came down to Irene's room and asked her if I could study there. Collin was there too. We talked. I didn't study. And when the time came I asked her if I could sleep in her common room because of the noise. She said yes, so I rolled over and died for a while. And when she woke me up, leaned over, and said "hey," the one thing I remember thinking was "yes. This has to be it. I never want to wake up alone again." That's kinda where it started. It's silly, but then again so am I.
I dropped by more often. So did my friends. Especially Flats. Flats came down with me alot. Eventually I find myself down in Irene's common room with Andy, Sills, and Flats. And we go absolutely nuts. In my delirium I ask Andy if it's obvious. And she says yes it is, and that I should do something. So I wrote a rather (in my opinion) witty and charming love letter, which was placed in the middle of a pattern of sex-jokes cards.
She misses the point because we're incoherent and can't string together sentences. So Andy and Vrolyk drag me out, and we go out to buy flowers. But all the stores are closed, so we steal flowers from a public park. I come back, but because Im a fairy I dont tell her. She finds out because Vrolyk's timing is worse than mine. She understands what I mean to say anyways. And I love her for that.
More time passes. I buy Andy a stuffed lobster. Vrol and I become better friends. We get in trouble. Irene...By the end I am absolutely sure I love her. I never ask her the same. I pray its true. I hope she keeps something from our "tree." And when I leave, and all my friends tell me their own little way of saying goodbye, I realize I love them even more for it, and that they actually do care about me.
She tells me that life will move on. That things will change. I hate change, and for once in my life, I just want to dwell on the people and things that made me so happy for 8 weeks of my life.
Shout Outs...(I hope I get all of you).
Jon: My first bud with a Heart of Gold and a MAX of steel. Literally. I loved your blanket. I'll miss you.
Rude: You were so cool. Card tricks were amazing. How did you put up with my shit? Someday we'll buy that summer house. And we'll grow our own weed. It will be amazing.
Sills: My clone...Or my original. Poker was fun. Dim Sum in New York some day, eh?
Pize: Deep down, you're one of us. Thanks for all the help. You were so understanding.
Flats: Where do I begin. You're so hard to pin down. The times we had together...Olé. That's all I can say.
Sam: You're a cool guy Sam. Get married. Have kids. Teach them about the Sox. It wouldn't be right any other way.
Vrolyk: Where would I be without you? You did so much for me. It was like having a friend who knew what to do every time. You taught me so much. Thank you polar bear. I still see you dancing.
Mike: Hoo-ah. You're tough shit. One day I'll become good at football and you'll be proud of me.
Collin: Our angel child, who never broke a rule, but was still oh-so-cool. You can make out in my bed anytime.
Simrat: My farmer...who wore kunderwear. You kept me stable. Without your talks I would have thrown myself out the window. I apologize for never getting you a tree. Someday, before I die..
Judy: Dirty, dirty, dirty asian with a priceless heart. Please don't shave my legs. ^_^
My: I'll gamble with you too someday. It's in our blood. Don't ever forget that.
Megan: Sorry for bothering you at weird hours, looking for Irene. At the very least, you must've passed your courses with flying colors.
Katie: You're a fucking rockstar. Period.
Andy: Well roster, you were always there with Vrolyk giving me advice. I never took it all (though I should have). You guys...Thank you. Olé.
Kareem: Probably the coolest of us all. With the best hair too. Send me a doo-rag. It made me feel special.
Josh: Sacks, you dirty Republican...You're one crazy bastard. I'm expecting you to keep your word.
Dustin: Thanks dad. You were a cool guy. Showed me that anime was still part of me. Bring back a key chain from Mongolia.
Mom: You were there for all the things I needed you for, and you even helped out on somethings that you didn't mean too. Thanks For being supportive.
Irene: ...I don't know what to say yet. It'll come eventually.
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| tomorrow... |
[19 Aug 2004|12:21am] |
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tomorrow you get to hear the epic. But tomorrow. Not today. I miss you guys...
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| 15 bottles and some funny scribbles |
[04 Jul 2004|06:04am] |
I havent updated in like a month... Harvard's been a bitch, and im still sweeping my computer for viruses, which evidently Im loaded with. I suck at poker. I suck at Counter strike now. I suck at Day of Defeat...and Natural Selection...and Warcraft 3...and Sven Co-Op...I suck at Frisbee...and math. And writing. I suck at Life. I wish I didn't just...screw up everything. Eh. Hopefully I can buck the god damned trend for once and pass Calculus. Crazy formulas are confuzzling me. >.>
Eh. I'm not stalking her eiether, in case you've been listening to a little birdy, who is gonna be roasted soon. There's some pretty cool people here though, guys and girls alike. My roomates are pretty cool, and so is the honorary roomate. There's this crazy Russian chick too- maybe she can out vodka VDB...? I kid. She's funny though.
Rudy's the man as well. He teaches me a bit of German every now and then, and I don't know why he puts up with us. I swear his "walks" aren't legit. Judith looks like Hannah...acts like her too. That's so weird. I dunno. Whatever.
Pictures coming up in a bit...
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| meh. |
[08 May 2004|11:07pm] |
sorry. this has been a shitty week and I dont have the energy to do anything...Sooo I brought back a family guy quiz for you guys to play with.
Stewie
Which Family Guy Character Are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
hehe. I love Stewie. Almost as much as I love Mister Stabby.
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| wow... |
[12 Apr 2004|09:45pm] |
Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.
Image is a painting by Natalya Nesterova,
source:ca80.lehman.cuny.edu/.../
images/fallen_angel.jpg
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
gee...thats just pathetic.
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[08 Apr 2004|11:36pm] |
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I Feel like major crap right now and really don't know why. Nothing's terribly wrong. My grades are ok. I've come to realize that I have some of the most awesome friends in the world. I'm gaining weight since Ive been chowing down on the ice cream, which isnt too cool, but I can live with being a fat ass. I know this is also uninteresting and boring, so I acquiesce (in my pathetic state of mind my vocabulary has deteriorated to a point that I am not even sure that that is a correct usage) to your unsaid demands for my feeble attempt at humor and wit.
If You were Stuck on an Tropical Island...
Weaver: Would get an amazing sun tan despite his genetics, so that his "gangsta rap" would match his appearance. You know we be playas gangsta.
Liz: Would finally realize her dream of going nakey.
Tim: Would declare a coup de tat on the island, establishing an experimental utopian-haven society for closet Marxists.
Miles: Shen would not have any shirts to wear, since they basically share a wardrobe (i kid you not. look at their shirts).
Dave (Math Ninja Deweese): would be finishing his thesis work by using sticks to draw Greek letters into the sand.
Jay: Would be ironically swimming in the ocean twice a day, in the morning and later in the afternoon.
Matt: I WILL TAKE YOU IN POKER
Mary: Would learn to stop hating me.
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| Really. I promise |
[05 Apr 2004|05:40pm] |
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mood |
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 intimidated |
] |
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music |
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Cradle of Filth- Her Ghost in the Fog |
] |
I'll update sometime soon. I swear.
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| I lost my teddy bear...addendum |
[21 Mar 2004|05:55pm] |
mmm...It seems Tim's problems have bled into my life, and I'm having pretty much the same issues. Cept he's emotionally more mature than I am, so while he leads a normal productive life, im just kinda staring at the wall dreaming of you.
I might be getting DDR too...which will be hot. Does anyone know if they have mats for the XBOX?
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| like hell. |
[21 Mar 2004|05:30pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
] |
Yar! I just got back from my cruise in the carribean. it sucked. like hell. My parents made me go to the beach and everything. My back is burned and it iches. like hell. So when i wasn't being forced to go to the beach I was watching movies I needed to catch up on.
The boat had a casino too. Didn't get any gambling action going tho. Damn security. Then the punk ass cracker with braces starts pulling slots and they ASK HIM IF HE WANTS A BUCKET FOR HIS WINNINGS!!! WTF is that. Then the US customs guard has the nerve to tell me to get into the Non-US citizen line. like hell I will. I probably speak better English than his sorry ass anyways.
And my computer is lagging. This sucks like hell.
Current Job:
Unemployed like a hobo ^_^
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| Ima confused Child |
[09 Mar 2004|11:32pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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music |
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Beethoven- Moonlight Sonata |
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Im such a confused little boy. It's really pathetic. I was talking to Tim (vaguely) about how sad this all is, and though he's too kind to vocalize, I think he silently agrees too. I should be slapped. Someone slap me.
On a lighter note, everyone at my school is an absolute loser. An absolute loser. I felt guilty for starting a live journal, and then find out EVERYONE has one. EVERYONE. Even the people with lives. Kinda scary. And they do them day in day out for like months too. It makes me feel better about myself.
Meier thinks he can take me in Counter-Strike. I'm going to have to consume his soul.
EDIT: For your sake, I took out the crappy poetry. -_-;; bit too sappy, even for a schmuck like me.
Job of the Day:
-=Lizard Blizzard=- ...never again will I take another job.
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| Lets R-I-I-I-D-E |
[03 Mar 2004|10:16pm] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
] |
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music |
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Jay-Z - Big Pimping |
] |
Feeling good. incredibly good for some reason. No idea why. But it's different. Like when Tim feels good, he has a spring in his step and hands out hugs like he was the Pope. When I feel good, I feel like giving the pimp hand to everyone I hate. It'll go away in a bit, so I'm not too concerned.
I can't believe Personette will let us take double AP sciences next year. I could've sworn he was was gonna give US the pimp hand and come down hard. But now its really 1337 that I can get most of the courses I want.
...and I have to take computer I. WTH is that?! Im not like im a dumb caveman or something. I have a laptop strapped to my back!!! I'm pale!!! I'm fat!!! I wear glasses!!! Does that NOT scream computer geek to you?!?! I'd like to think I know how to BOLD TEXT IN MICROSOFT WORD!!!
Course Sign up for next year- Drop yours in too in the comments
AP Bio
Ap Chem
Honors Latin III
Ap Lang
Ap US
Honors Calculus (to be changed to AP Cal AB if I test in)
If I'm not mistake, Megacon is this weekend. I'm not sure if I'm going. I wish I could, but its so expensive...and no one will go with me. :( I'm such a loser.
Job of the Day:
-=LaMe Zell=- ...so nice.
...And no I'm not drunk. It's just the closest Emoticon they had. Imma good lil boy! ^_-
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| pathetic. |
[25 Feb 2004|10:21pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
] |
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music |
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Random J-Pop |
] |
Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results | Sociability | ||||||||||||||| | 46% | | Gregariousness | ||||||||| | 30% | | Assertiveness | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 86% | | Activity Level | |||||||||||||||||| | 54% | | Excitement-Seeking | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 82% | | Enthusiasm | |||||||||||| | 34% | | Extroversion | |||||||||||||||||| | 55% | | Trust | ||||||||| | 26% | | Morality | |||||||||||| | 38% | | Altruism | |||||||||||||||||| | 54% | | Cooperation | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 62% | | Modesty | |||||||||||| | 34% | | Sympathy | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 62% | | Friendliness | ||||||||||||||| | 46% | | Confidence | |||||||||||||||||| | 58% | | Neatness | |||||||||||||||||| | 58% | | Dutifulness | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 62% | | Achievement | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 86% | | Self-Discipline | ||||||||||||||| | 50% | | Cautiousness | ||||||||||||||| | 50% | | Orderliness | |||||||||||||||||| | 60% | | Anxiety | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 82% | | Volatility | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 86% | | Depression | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 90% | | Self-Consciousness | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Impulsiveness | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Vulnerability | |||||||||||||||||||||||| | 74% | | Emotional Stability | ||||||||| | 22% | | Imagination | |||||||||||||||||||||||| | 78% | | Artistic Interests | |||||||||||||||||||||||| | 78% | | Emotionality | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 86% | | Adventurousness | |||||||||||| | 38% | | Intellect | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 82% | | Liberalism | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 86% | | Openmindedness | |||||||||||||||||||||||| | 74% | | Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Testdoes anyone else agree with me when i say that these truly are the statistics of a COMPLETE LOSER??? -_-;;
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i_am_a_flounder's journal
Meh